Work Harder

I made some GIF(t)S for you.

Ital, 285 Kent, 2/17/12


Little Lungs, DBA, 3/30/12


Sleepies, Dead Herring, 4/7/12

Production Memories: One of a Series

So there was this AC that we stated calling "Pornstar AC" because we were all sexists. This is not to detract from the fact that she was smokey and, frankly, stacked and that she played directly into our mid-20's sexism. The phrase "Mombo Combo" never seemed so dirty. She was and is smart as a whip and totally talented but this story is coming from a 24 year old's perspective.

Anyway we were upstate somewhere -- possibly Dutchess County -- and stranded by the Hudson River at dusk. It had been a long 18-hour day and we had been on the clock since 4 AM to "get the sunrise" but now it was dusk and we were all piled eleven-to-an-eight-pass and waiting for the director and production crew to shag ass and get in the lead. Someone put on an iPod, which was still fairly new at the time.

"What are we listening to?"
"What do you have."
"I was listening to The Smiths earlier"
"Oh! You must!" she said.

And so we all sat, eleven-to-an-eight-pass, and sang "There is a Light That Never Goes Out" together as the sun set to our right. The driver turned the headlights on as we began to drive.

"No, no, you're doing it wrong. You have to sing with an underbite."
"Show me."
"See -- it changes the way your voice sounds."
"Yes! I get it now."

Dance, Monkey

I've made you a gift. I made you a gif. Guys what am I doing?

Forever.

Dear Henry,

When are you going to get off your ass and get a real band?

Love,

America.

Matt and Melissa Got Married

I was Matt's Best Man. I was asked recently if I was really the BEST man and I asked her if she really wanted to find out. It was a regrettably short conversation. This is my speech for Matt. He was pleased, if he was honest about it (and I have no reason to believe he wasn't. Love you, bro).



Hello and thank you for coming. One of my favorite quotes is from the great American movie "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance," which goes, "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend." This is a very important quote because facts get hazy as time passes, but the gist of this story is basically true.

I have known Matt for 13 years, and during most of that time he never drank. He didn't like it. He was one of those kids who says, 'It's like they made it taste bad on purpose.' So this had to have been fall 2006, and Matt and Melissa had been texting each other in the way that young kids do, and that was kind of cool and all, but she was living in Seattle and Matt was living with me in Brooklyn. There's
that little problem of DISTANCE.

Matt, Gary, Phil and Sam went out to San Francisco for Halloween to visit their friend and Matt and Melissa had arranged to meet up while he was there. Romantic, huh? Beautiful city. Magic. I hear nothing from Matt the whole week.

Matt comes home and he's kinda groggy and tired in that post-vacation way. And I say, "Hey dude, how did it go?" And he says, "Well it was a blast. I got my tire stuck on the Golden Gate Bridge and almost killed myself. But it was pretty cool."

"So how's Mel?"

"Oh, man. Well we met at some bar and I spent the better part of a night downing whiskeys to get up the courage to kiss her. I got totally hammered."

"You don't drink."

"Right."

I think the lesson is that Melissa drove Matt to drink before they even started dating. Please enjoy your evening.

drops mic, exerunt

Could There Be More Work? (New Work pt. V)

New songs for you on a summer's day!

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The Devil Drives a T-Bird

Cancer Conductor

International Creeping

Here Come The Goyim*

Tune Yards

He's Undressing You With His Eyes (But So Am I)

Chinese Takeover (So Many Whites)**

Hired Tomorrow, Fired Tomorrow

A Delight But A Dilemma

Love Letter to Fucking Up***

Shitty Bangs

Wood from Elephants

Summer is for Lovers****

The Germans Speak to Me

Soundtrack to Kickball

Casket for a Viking Funeral*****

Trash Night Stands******

The Cards Speak in Metaphors

Shitty Luger

Grandma Tommygun

Unsocial Butterfly

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*This is a song about bikes, a subject I know little, if anything, about.
**This is a song about the trade deficit.
***This song should not be as emo as the title suggests. This is also about the trade deficit.
****I'm sure this song already exists somewhere.
*****This should be a sea chanty, but not sound like The Decemberists. I don't know how that's supposed to work, musically, but I think it can be done.
******Courtesy Melissa B

FUCK YOU

Hey Richard,
I saw your photos on flickr from Hillstock 2011. I was wondering if you would allow us to use one or two of your photos (sans watermark) for an article on pro.billboard.com we’re more than happy to give you full credit for your photos.

Thanks!
--
XXX XXXXXX
Multimedia Editor
Billboard Pro
XXX.XXXXXX@Billboard.com
212.XXX.XXXX